People ask each other, “If you could go back in time to any place, and see or meet anyone without having to experience the negative aspects, where would you go?”
The following are all interesting, but wouldn’t be my first choice:
- I would like to know how they built the pyramids. How do you move a 5,000 pound stone without construction equipment?
- I would like to sit on a hill and listen to Jesus preach.
- It would like to see Moses split the Red Sea.
- I’d like to see Sampson between the pillars.
- It might be fun to be on Noah’s ark for a day.
- I’d like to see the garden of Eden and walk with God in the cool of the evening.
- Maybe watch a game with Babe Ruth or Wayne Gretzky at their best.
- Maybe meet Winston Churchill, Michelangelo, Beethoven, Benjamin Franklin, or Abraham Lincoln, or Abraham.
But those are not my first choice…..
I was raised in a Catholic family in an all-white neighborhood of St. Paul. We were basically good people trying to live out our lives in a religious system that was handed down to us from our ancestors. It had good and bad, but mostly good. Several older people didn’t like minorities, Jews, or non-Catholics. Women were generally meant to be quiet in church matters. We did our best to ignore the negative and focus on the positive.
I was educated in a Catholic grade school. Being the youngest in my class, I was the shortest and slowest, and last to be picked. It taught me humility. But, I was not the slowest of all, that was my brother. My best friend was my down syndrome brother.
I went to a Catholic high school. It was a new group of people. I became what people wanted to see. I knew what it felt like to be the popular kid and not be yourself. It was odd. In grade school I was picked on, but in highschool I was popular.
I earnestly sought God. I remember numerous times kneeling and praying to God for answers. I rarely missed a Sunday mass service.
The priests and bishops taught us that only Catholics had a chance of obtaining heaven and everyone else outside the Catholic church were going to hell. They said this openly, not hidden. I reluctantly believed them. Who was I to question it. The Catholic church had bishops, cardinals, popes, and the big buildings. When the religious died, there were grand funerals. We were taught to pray to the religious holy dead.
I tried my best to not be rejected by God and follow the church rules. I knew the Catholic faith. I lived it. I was an alter boy and attended many catholic functions. As a young teen, I closely looked into becoming a priest.
Of all the thousands of messages I’ve heard preached, the earliest one I remember was when I was 7 years old. There was a fundraiser for some charity. Somehow my mother was asked to talk in front of the entire church to pitch the call to give. She explained that a person is not really just giving money to a good cause, they were giving their time equal to the payment they receive for their earthly work. It was a simple exchange (time for money, and money for God’s blessings coming through the charity). It made perfect sense. She continued to explain that if you were blessed to have a job that serves others, your life’s work can be a service to the Lord. When a person is paid for that work, and then gives it to a charity, that person is actually doubling what God has given them. She also added that our Lord taught there was no greater love than to lay down one’s life for another. She recognized that there were likely some present that had given up everything to be a mother and love their child, possibly not having any money to give. She encouraged the mothers that God was the one who saw the heart and not to feel bad about not giving. Ever since then, I have viewed motherhood as the most important profession in the world.
I’ve heard a lot of good sermons preached, but the most moving and motivating sermon is one that is lived. These two people are giants at living out the love of Jesus Christ.
My mother was a nurse by profession, and a caretaker by heart. She had lived out her life of service by doing more good for others than anyone I knew. She was always helping those in physical need or trying to make everyone’s surroundings better. In 1988, my uncle, who was a Catholic priest, told my mother to go to hell when she disagreed with his opinion on some minor point. At that time, my mother had taken into our home her dying mother. She couldn’t nurse grandma back to health, not this time. It was a low point in my mother’s life. Yet, my uncle, with his spiritual wisdom and authority, felt it necessary to judge her and condemn her. It was at this time, I started questioning the Catholic faith, this system of spiritual authority, and their claimed ability to decide who goes to heaven and who goes to hell.
My uncle never apologized for his hurtful condemning statement, even through I strongly rebuked him for his actions. My mother, on the other hand, forgave him and reached out to bring loving kindness to him and help him with his physical needs. That's what she taught - kindness, forgiveness, compassion, and bring joy to those around her. She repaid him with kindness. He died knowing he was loved.
My grandma was the most selfless person I knew. She was loving and kind. She lost her first born 2 year old baby boy in a tragic accident. Her alcoholic husband was in prison at the time of the accident. After prison, they had 3 more children, but it was not a happy home. She eventually found the courage to leave him. She owned very little, but she never complained? It was a blessing to know her. Her favorite song was “The Old Rugged Cross.” Grandma was a nobody in the eyes of society and the church, but to me, she seemed closer to our maker than those in the race for status. There is a story in the bible about the first shall be last and the last shall be first. I am not so sure the world or religious leaders have this story figured out.
It was grandma's wish to be buried next to her son. She carried the pain of that separation her whole life. The cemetery officials told my mother that grandma's remains could not be placed next to her son. My mother replied, "they will, I have her ashes and a shovel." With some difficulty, her remains were eventually placed in a modest grave next to her son.
"There are exceptions to many rules" my mother would say. But there was one rule she lived by: "Don't tell a Baber they can't do something, especially when it involves showing love and compassion to someone or doing what is right, good, and just."
In 1989, I graduated as a structural engineer from the U of MN. I learned what it took to pay your own way through collage and study hard to earn a degree.
I earned my tuition money by working in group homes with the mentally handicapped. It was rewarding work.
In 1990, I graduated from Cornell University with my masters. I proved to myself and others that I was not dumb. I also saw that rich and affluent leaders outside of religion were buried in grand tombs with large monuments.
My best friend throughout my pre-marriage life had been my little brother Bill who had Down Syndrome. He knew me and did not reject me. He loved me for who I was. I did not need to pretend to be someone else around him. Bill would reach out to those around him in a unique way. Society has been systematically rejecting and eliminating the handicap; throwing them away before they have the chance to live. I'm not so sure society knows who will be first and who will be last when we get to heaven.
In 1990, I accepted my first career job and moved to Richmond, Virginia. All previous people in my life were far away. No friends stayed in contact with me, because I never really had any close friends. Family was distant. Up until this point in life, I had tried my best to do the things that people had told me would bring happiness and success in life. I found myself empty, alone, and miserable. The worldly path to success that everyone was telling me to follow felt hollow.
In 1990, at the age of 23, a coworker invited me to a small country church. I heard the simple gospel message and became a “born-again” Christian. I heard the message that Jesus Christ loved me just the way I was. There were no prerequisites to being accepted by God. He loved all people.
I tried to share my new faith with family, but it was difficult for my family to accept that I had rejected the Catholic religion. It was not so much rejecting a faith but accepting or believing in a more simple faith.
In 1993, at the age of 25, I married my wife, a true soulmate. A person that knew rejection but found love and acceptance in Jesus Christ. We focused on raising 12 children as best we could. We had ups and downs with life challenges. We went through bankruptcy and foreclosure in 2008. My wife lead a self-sacrificed life before my eyes day after day, making every decision for her children over and over, placing the needs and wants of her children ahead of her own.
In 2006, when an architect friend of mine died, his family encourage me to use my engineering knowledge for the spread of the Gospel. I went to Egypt to help local Christians build their structures. I learned there was a large population of people that do not believe in Christianity and are opposed to Christ. It also reinforce the fact that throughout history the rich have been buried in grand monuments at the cost of the poor. Were these religious wealthy leaders really that much more grand in death than the thousands of low life beings that built their tombs? Well, obviously "NO".
In 2011, Haiti had a big earthquake. I went there to help churches and Christian school evaluate their structures. I learn there was a large population of people that lived in bleak conditions just off the coast of the US. I remember a religious person bragging in the airport about how he was going to Haiti to do "spiritual work" and unintentionally was putting down those that were going just to help with the physical needs of the suffering people. I learned that the poor are kept low and real change is difficult in corrupt systems. Haiti reaffirmed that the death or suffering of a poor person was not important to the affluent.
At the age of 45, when our pastor had an adulterous affair and stole money from the church, I knew we had corruption in other denominations. We backed away from organized Christianity.
My father taught me too many things to list. If I had to list one thing that stood out the most, it would be that he genuinely cared about people. When he was at the end of his life, and he did not know his own name at times, we needed to get something at the store. I had to take him. He could not be left alone. We were next in line to check out. The cashier looked board and unhappy. He leaned over and whispered in my ear, "I bet I can get her to smile." And he proceeded to do that. By the time we left the store he and her were laughing together.
At the age of 54, when my guitar teacher committed suicide and I had no idea he was sad, I knew I failed as a friend. Why did I not see him hurting? I decided to get back into church to have a place to invite the lost, the hurting, and the rejected people around me. Someone invited me to church years ago, and I heard the Good News. I should do the same.
At the age of 56, two close friends of mine that had become sources of spiritual encouragement to me concluded they could not work together at the same church because one held to covenant theology and the other to dispensationalism. I did not know what these terms meant. I tried to find out who was right and who was wrong. They were rejecting each other’s beliefs based on biblical interpretation. They wouldn’t listen to me. I was the dumb one with no formal training in things of God. I’ve seen a lot of religious separation and rejection in my life. Some separations were necessary, but many others were not. Denominational differences that cause separation are wrong. Christ prayed that we would be one. There are religious doctrines that don’t allow any room for misunderstanding but there are other minor differences that should not divide the body of Christ. This led me to write out my statement of faith and put into words what I thought was “The Essential Christian Faith?”
At the age of 56, while talking with leaders in the church I attended, it became apparent that many held strongly to Calvinist teaching. I did not know what Calvinism was. There seemed to be a “higher” thinking that went beyond the simple Gospel message for the theological mature. Simply put, Calvinism teaches that God chooses some to go to heaven and passes over others. This led me to conduct a brief study on Calvinism. I did not like what I found. Basically, Calvinism teaches that God arbitrarily (randomly and illogically) rejects and hates the majority of humans and the lost have no chance at salvation unless God choses the individual.
It was at this time that I witnessed the church leadership publicly humiliating a "sinner", a young single mother. The leadership found it necessary to expose the “sinner” and take steps to expel her from the congregation claiming she might not have been one of the elect. They claimed they were "expelling the wicked person from among them" according to the pattern of 1 Cor 5. However, it felt more like spiritual bullying. This web page compares the simple Gospel with the 5 points of Calvinism.
I shared with my children my concerns about what was being taught at school and church and that it was not matching what I believed. I believed in a loving God. In fact, I believed that God was Love. A loving God does not create beings to be his objects of torture. After one such conversation, my 12 year old son wrote on my white board "what we deserve - Death forever - torture"
Searching through scripture as my main resource for thoughts on what is the essential Christian faith, I came across the idea that the "church fathers" of the past may have incorrectly taught the masses about the doctrine of hell. In fact, the mass populations of the world may have misunderstood hell, afterlife, or life after death.
So, I read the Bible from cover to cover (literally every book, every chapter) with my ears attentive for any reference to hell, judgement, wrath, or perishing. This was not a hill to die on for me, but the evidence was quite interesting. The doctrine of Hell may have been a tool to use against the public to control them with religion. I’ve summarized my findings on the doctrine of hell here:
When my 12 year old son wrote “what we deserve - death forever - torture" and some were questioning my wife’s salvation, I pulled my children out of the Baptist (Calvinistic) school and asked to be removed from church membership. I couldn’t justify keeping my children in a church and school system that secretly held to Calvinism Teachings of rejection and the hatred of the lost. During an exit conversation with leadership, I was asked, “what about those that do not hear the gospel?” It was a good question. God is loving, just, and good. Did my belief system of God and eternity deal justly with everyone? After studying this question, I compiled my answer here:
Mothering is self-sacrificing work with no pay. It is raising a human soul. But it is more than that. It is loving another with the supernatural love of God. It is the first glimpse a person sees of God’s love. Nothing is more precious than seeing a mother loving their child and nothing is more tragic than seeing the devil kill, steal, or destroy that bond. It has been a privilege to be the husband of my wife and support her work.
Will I see my daughter, my wife, my mother, and my grandmother in heaven?
I don’t know. I hope so. However, chances are they will be so much closer to the throne of God than me, it might be too bright for my eyes to see.
So, if your theology leads you to condemn my daughter, my wife, my mother, my grandmother, or any another mother when they clearly and simply articulate that Jesus Christ is Lord and they are demonstrating by their actions the love of God, then I reject your theology.
I don’t care what church you attend. I really don’t. I care to see that life is valued and seen as precious from the moment of conception, that family life is encouraged and supported, and that people are told that God loves them.
As my parenting is coming to an end, my focus in life has become less and less on the cares of this world and more and more on my responsibilities to my wife, and my responsibilities to those around me who have not heard the Good News. God gave me a remarkable person to share life with. I’m not looking to be guided by any "spiritually" trained person any longer. I am not interested in the deep theological truths of the super smart theologians of the past or present. I have no room for rejection theology. Give me the Old Rugged Cross. That is all I need.
If could go back in time I wouldn’t go see some grand event or some superhero. My 1st choice would be to go back to a time where I could hold my Grandma’s hand and tell her I loved her, that God saw her pain, and Jesus loved her. But, I can’t do that, so the best thing I can do is tell those around me of the Love of God and show it in my actions.
Jesus told the story of a good Samaritan crossed a big cultural gap to meet the physical needs of a stranger, with no motive to gain anything in return. He gave his time, his convenience, and his money to help the half-dead, broken soul that was beat-up by the world. Jesus said, “Go and do likewise.” That is the call to all of us.
What is essential Christian faith? https://abbottforensic.com/faith/
What is the simple gospel? https://abbottforensic.com/gospel/
Do we choose life and death? https://abbottforensic.com/choose/
If I could go back in time. https://abbottforensic.com/time/
My 1st best advice to my children – Study the words of Christ https://abbottforensic.com/words/
My 2nd best advice to my children – Seek answers to your questions https://abbottforensic.com/seek/
My 3rd best advice to my children – Start seeing people https://abbottforensic.com/start/